Phrases I did not use today
Posted by leftforcoy on April 29, 2008
“Mmm-MMM, I’d like to get a bite off a’that muffin top.”
“Looks like a drug deal gone bad, just twenty minutes before we got here.”
“Say, what a great sash.”
“How was the CIA today, honey?”
“It shouldn’t take the worst blizzard in thirty years for you to admit to yourself that you really want to be liked, Quentin!”
“Christ recommends this cheese. Here, try a piece.”
“No, no — not emphatic, but literate.”
“You’ve been running pell-mell through my telenovela brainstorming sessions all day.”
“I’m going to have to demote you for conduct unbecoming a hemoglobin.”
“Social worker-smocial worker. She smelled pretty.”
“I hope this isn’t too forward of me, but I painstakingly restored this chafing dish you said you liked.”
“All my life I’ve been looking for these boots and now that I’ve found them, it just sort of feels empty.”
“Hey, what are you guys, a bunch of fake electrons? You should be excited!”
April 30, 2008 at 11:03 am
These lines are funnier when I imagine you saying them on a stage wearing a red IO tee-shirt w/ an old-timey piano player in the background doing his best to kill your funny w/ his distinct lack of musically comedic insight. By the way, when I hear “IO” I think of a catheter we place in a person’s bone when we can’t get an IV. Not sure how you might work that into your routine, but feel free to use it.
May 1, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Since you are not using the line about the electrons, I claim it as my own.
May 5, 2008 at 9:02 am
Arthur Miller’s dead, Billy! Let it go.