Bounce back with bullets

 

• Hipsters shouldn’t use the word “awesome” anymore.  It lost its retro 80s tone at some point over the last five years; I’m not sure when.  We need a new word.  Perhaps I can suggest “Meow-licious?”
• As a matter of fact, hipsters need to stop with the 80s retro nostalgia thing altogether.  The 80s are dead.  They were revived briefly, as a joke, and then, all the sudden, everyone realized wistfully that the 80s were totally Meow-licious in terms of art and style (tell me you didn’t listen to “Let’s Dance” tipsy late at night on the subway home all the time around 2002 — you didn’t?  Well I did) but now, it’s overdone.  When I hear certain 80s songs now, I no longer think about my childhood, but about the time last week, last month or last year I listened to them, the original context wiped away by their more recent witty (or jealous) revival.  And it’s not just music — there are so few original 80s references that haven’t already been mined and rehashed at this point that it seems depressing to even try to come up with anything fresh.  But just to wring it out, here I go: Carl Lewis.  There — the 80s is done, son, so let’s hang them up and move on.     
• The 90s just seem silly to revive, because everything then was so self-aware and ironic that it’s probably just overall too meta to adopt tonge-in-cheek.  The 60s have been done (I seem to remember that being the nostalgia thing back in the 80s), as have the 70s, 50s and even the 40s (remember Bette Midler in “For the Boys”?  ”Memphis Belle”? “Atonement“, for god’s sakes? or that whole swing revival 10 years ago?).  God knows the 20s have been done (one could argue they’re the basis for the 80s?) and the 30s, well, what would you do for that, just have a wild resurgence in the popularity of eating soup that you have to wait on long lines to get?  Doesn’t Hale & Hearty already cover that? [It's late.]  Same deal with the 1910s — unless we figure out a way to integrate huge amounts of soldiers returning from overseas fighting disfigured and dispirited into our current culture, along with a renaissance of muckraking journalism and paranoia and concern that D.W. Griffith movies will cause audiences to have seizures because they’re just too real.  Come to think of it, that might be the way to go.
• Also, this is a picture of me and my brother, taken this past Christmas.  This shows what my head would look like if it were wrapped in plastic because it was some kind of deli meat that you would buy from a store.